Emma came for an energy session to rejuvenate herself. She was an entrepreneur, feeling overwhelmed by her business as a fitness instructor and finding herself less in touch with her own health as her business expanded. When we began the session, I invited Emma to notice that all of her focus and energy presence was on the right side of her body and pelvic bowl, with an absence of energy on the left side. She mentioned that her left side even felt numb.
I asked Emma about her primary stress, as she was demonstrating a pattern of imbalance with the right side hyperengaged in overdoing (the masculine field that engages when we have tasks to accomplish) and the left side lacking in much-needed replenishment (the feminine field where we are meant to receive equal to what we give). Emma answered that her stress arose from the feeling that everything was her responsibility.
She had always prided herself on being resourceful and strong, but as she had more to do, she also felt more overwhelmed. She did not know how to prioritize her many work demands, and her own health was not even a current priority. Even talking about her workload increased her tension, and part of the issue was that she continued to place the additional load on her right, “overly capable” side.
The Achiever Self Makes Room for "Unproductive" Time
As her responsibilities grew, she continually met them with her achiever self, leaving less and less room for accessing her left side and personal needs. All of the output, with little input, was bound to increase her sense of feeling burdened and depleted.
I asked Emma to focus her breath and awareness on the left side of her body and imagine giving time to this part of herself. In doing so, she reported a sense of guilt in making time for what felt “unproductive.” She knew all of the demands on her time, and even turning to look at the left side felt like a waste to her.
When a framework of using one’s energy is so entrenched, it takes concerted effort to make a lasting change. I asked Emma if she could recognize that taking care of herself was the essential task. She could hardly run a company promoting wellness when she herself was so far out of relationship with her health. I hoped that if Emma could see how foundational she was to the whole picture, she might be more motivated to change the energy pattern of how she was operating.
Resistance to Being Still and Reflective
On an intellectual level, Emma knew that her self-care was important because her own business was centered around health. Yet she felt trapped in her pattern of ignoring herself to get things done. Emma pondered this and stayed with her uncomfortable sense of resistance to being still and reflective even while she had a mountain of tasks to accomplish.
Suddenly she remembered a time when she was seven years old. She was playing in the backyard by herself, making up a story and looking at the clouds. Her mother yelled out the window that she needed her help and to “stop being lazy.” The code in her family was work focused. In fact, there was a whole lineage pattern in her parents and grandparents that emphasized and valued nonstop work. There was frequent stress around money, and her parents responded to this stress by working harder. There were no memories Emma could call to mind of open-ended time together or even laughter. As long as you were working, you were “good” and contributing something, and idle time was not to be encouraged or trusted.
Connecting with The Feminine Aspect
As Emma spent more time connecting with this feminine aspect of herself, she was reminded of that dreamy essence of childhood imagination and her entire energy field felt more at ease. Emma loved reading, gardening, lying in the sun—but rarely let herself truly indulge in these pleasures. She did allow herself exercise, but limited it to running because it was quicker when she really desired to attend a Nia or yoga class. Even in the act of running, she realized that she hardly felt the sensations in her body because she was focused on thinking about her project list.
Emma had gone into fitness as a way of being healthier in her own life, but now she made the connection that the pressure she felt to be successful in business was causing her to resort to the family pattern of overwork. Yet Emma did not need to compromise her health to achieve success; that was an ingrained but false family pattern.
If she could change her exercise program back to a less practical and more pleasurable format, and even pay attention to her body while doing so instead of thinking about her “to-do” list, she would not only nourish herself but energize her feminine space that is vital for the creative aspects of any business.
Make Room For The Feminine: Use A More Natural Rhythm To Guide Productivity
In her work, Emma was embodying the code of her family and approaching her daily tasks in a linear manner that emphasized a masculine mode of doing, with no room for dreams or the feminine. While it can be helpful to have a list to organize what needs to be accomplished, using a more natural rhythm to guide productivity makes room for the feminine.
Having a robust feminine presence brings creative insights and energy to the masculine aspects of building a business. Even taking short breaks for pleasure in the midst of a busy day will increase feminine energy.
Ideally the feminine and masculine aspects are engaged equally, yet this rarely happens unless we consciously do so. Having Emma focus her attention on the left energy field increased the warmth and sensation in this space so that it was more even with the right side.
As we discussed the integration of masculine and feminine approaches to daily rhythms, Emma had a clearer understanding of how to use these aspects of herself in a balanced way, such as scheduling in self-nourishment and care as equal to other tasks and letting go of less important details in order to focus on the whole.
The Masculine Doing Aspect of Self & The Feminine Being Aspect
I invited Emma to set intentions for herself regarding this new perspective in her creative core. She started to do this, but then her energy field contracted. I asked how it was going and she gave voice to the stress she felt. “I don’t even know how to set my intentions or do it in a way that will ensure they happen.”
Emma was again reflecting an unbalanced masculine approach. Rather than setting the intentions into the energy field and trusting the guidance of energy and spirit that comes from this inner creative space, Emma felt she had to personally do something or nothing would happen. Even worrying about “how” they would be manifest interferes with the energy. She was engaging the masculine doing aspect of self rather than the feminine being aspect.
When people have both creative intentions and complete trust in the process, their energy field has an overall resonance to it. As soon as they start trying to think about how something will occur, they begin to micromanage the energy and their field becomes contracted and distressed.
Feminine Modes of Production
Placing intentions with full surrender and faith does not mean there is no work involved; it just means that you set the intentions as if they were already complete in that moment. Later, by staying in each moment, you walk step by step to the place of completion. This leaves room for the broader potential of the divine as guide and cocreator in the process.
I told Emma that an architect I had worked with felt that the projects she was more in alignment with tended to come her way when she herself was in alignment, and that feeling vibrant and centered personally was good for her business. These are feminine modes of production.
I invited Emma to again place intentions in her center such as these: to trust the flow of feminine energy to guide my life, to expand my potential by connecting to my full creative essence, to receive what I need using my whole field of inspiration.
She then blessed these intentions with words such as I am radiant. I am blessed. May these intentions be received. May I receive guidance to bring these intentions into form. As Emma did this, her energy field broadened into a new form. Now she could begin to employ the potential of her whole creative field as nourishment for herself and her growing business.
*subtitles by InnerSelf
©2014 by Tami Lynn Kent. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission from Atria Books/
Beyond Words Publishing. beyondword.com
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Wild Creative: Igniting Your Passion and Potential in Work, Home, and Life
by Tami Lynn Kent.
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About the Author
Tami Kent, MSPT, is a holistic women’s healthcare provider with a master’s degree in physical therapy. The founder of Holistic Pelvic Care, Tami has advanced training in multiple bodywork techniques, including certification in Maya Abdominal Massage and Infant Body Psychotherapy/Birth Trauma Resolution. She received her Masters in Physical Therapy from Pacific University and her Bachelor of Arts in Biology from the University of California at Berkeley. Tami is the mother of three boys and maintains a women’s health private practice in Portland, OR. Visit her website at www.wildfeminine.com/
