I CANNOT BE HERE. The life I should be living is somewhere else. It didn’t matter if I was lying on a beach somewhere sunny, eating a delicious meal with dear friends or riding my motorbike through stunning scenery, I never felt fully happy where I was. It was as if there was a distance between life and me and I couldn’t connect with true contentment.
It also didn’t matter if I was doing something super-fun or more mundane, like shopping for groceries; I felt a perpetual pullback from wherever I was and felt I should be at home working, or somewhere else. Anywhere actually, other than where I happened to be and doing what I was doing.
I would often say that I felt there was a party happening somewhere, but I wasn’t invited. Can you relate to that feeling? When with other people, I would pretend to be happy. I would pretend to have a good time. But inside, I felt a separation and a sadness that I couldn’t shake off. In short, I always felt I was missing out and that I should be somewhere else, doing something else. So much so that if I could just “get there”, then I would finally find happiness.
Time To Detox My Mind
No longer willing to postpone my own positivity, I decided to do a Mind Detox.
“What event in my life is the cause of my constant sense of missing out, the first event that, when resolved, will cause the problem to disappear?. If I were to know, what age was I?”
Age 16 came to mind. I was standing in the front room of my house. The space was dully lit and I was aimlessly looking out through the rain-spotted window onto the wet street outside. As the full memory returned I could still feel the silence of the room, an eerie empty quiet, filled with loneliness. I remembered that my supposed best mates were all together that night having a party and I wasn’t invited. Recalling this memory obviously made complete sense, because it was exactly how I’d often described myself feeling, but had never known why, until I did Mind Detox that day.
“What was it about what happened that was a problem for me?”
I felt: “Sad, rejected and lonely because I am missing out on the party.” I recollected my parents coming and offering to do something with me. I reluctantly accepted their invitation, but for the entire time felt depressed at the thought of my friends having fun without me or not caring that I was absent.
“What can I know now, that, if I had known it in the past, I would have never felt sad, rejected and lonely in the first place?”
Having been meditating for over a decade, and learning to embrace life, right now, as it is, I now know that I am always where I am supposed to be. I am sometimes invited and sometimes not, and that’s okay. It’s okay because I also don’t always invite all of my mates to every event or party I host. They have the freedom to choose who they spend time with, and when, and so do I.
Having been playing for years with being more present, I also know there is never nothing happening. That if I remain alert to the here and now, nothing is ever lacking and there is always abundance.
Finally, having since spoken to a friend who was at the party, I found out that I wasn’t invited because one of my other mates liked a girl and he thought she might prefer me and therefore I was competition! So by not inviting me he was increasing the odds of her ending up with him. It wasn’t personal – I had no control over if she liked me more than him and if I’m honest, as a teenager I might have done the exact same thing to my mate!
After using Mind Detox on this memory and resolving the Root-Cause Reason, the feeling that I was missing out dissolved and I was happier to be and do whatever I was being or doing. This Mind Detox has also made it easier to stay present and enjoy more completeness and contentment as a direct result.
The Healing Takes Place
To help your body heal and have a happier, more successful life, you need to stop resisting anything in your life – past, present and future. You also need to prioritize your peace and be willing to let go of anger, sadness, fear, guilt and anxiety, along with other downward-spiralling emotional experiences.
Thankfully, to enjoy more peace we don’t need to become time travellers, able to change the past or future. We just need to learn to be more present.
The Power of Staying in the Present
Freedom from regular resistance and negative emotions is easier when you know and directly experience the benefits of perhaps one of the best-kept secrets in history. Namely, that this moment is the only moment that exists, and therefore, the only moment that is real. This one! No other. Not some past memory or future fantasy, only now.
Unfortunately, millions of people live their entire lives not recognizing this fundamental truth of life and reality. They go about their days replaying their past or pre-playing some future scenarios in their mind, as if what they are thinking about is real, again and again and again. In the process, they struggle and suffer from unnecessary stress and ill-health, simply because they are in their heads thinking about the past and future, missing the present moment.
Being present also makes it easier for you to do Mind Detox. The reason for this is that you experience what is referred to as the “waking state of trance”, which is a supremely calm and clear way to be. In this state you have a less busy mind, the memories you need to remember are easier to access and change is more effortless. By not dwelling on the past or future and entering this supreme “present moment” state, you can also use the power of your mind–body connection in more productive and positive ways.
Your Body Doesn’t Know the Difference
Numerous scientific studies have now discovered that, biochemically speaking, your body cannot tell the difference between what is happening in the real world and what is imagined in your mind. Meaning that even if you are only thinking about a stressful situation, your body still experiences the same negative physical reactions as it would if these events were actually happening in reality. Quite remarkable, I’m sure you’ll agree!
The implications of these findings are hugely significant when it comes to experiencing inner peace and self-healing. Not only does it explain why so many people on the planet experiencing physical conditions, it also validates the importance of learning how to think less about the past or future and be more present.
Products of My Overactive Imagination
Words cannot describe the relief that came to me the day I discovered that my memories from the past, irrespective of how bad or sad, are only accessible now via my imagination. The same went for all of my future fears. For years I would have literally been scared by my shadow, my imagination. Therapy to change or let go of my problems became so much easier once I knew that the past was nothing more than an imagined story in my mind.
When I was a child I snuck into the television room late one evening and watched the movie Jaws. It scared me to death! For weeks after seeing the movie I couldn’t sleep; I was convinced the massive shark from the movie was hiding in my bedroom wardrobe, waiting for me to go to sleep before it came out to eat me! Now, looking back on it I can’t help but laugh at the thought of a giant fish living in my wardrobe, but at the time it felt so real that I would sweat and shake from fear.
When my parents tried to tell me it wasn’t real, it was just my imagination, I didn’t believe them because it felt so real. But they spoke the truth, and gave me one of the most important lessons of my life.
I’ve now discovered that my problems exist mainly in my mind, in either my imagined past or future, rarely in the real world of this moment. Please take a second to consider this possibility. Although the problems that cause you emotional stress may feel real, they exist more in your imagination than in reality.
Just because a problem feels real, it doesn’t mean it exists in the reality of now.
Bitter Pill?
I appreciate this might be a bit hard to swallow at first, in particular if your problems feel real and appear to be happening now. But for the sake of your health and happiness, I invite you to notice that much of your stress and negative emotions are caused by thinking overly about the past and future.
Mandy had been negatively impacted by past events for over 20 years and she recognized during our mentoring that the things she considered problems today were not problems in reality, but only stories in her mind. She let go of 22 years of pain in a matter of minutes when she realized she was causing herself unnecessary stress by continuing to think about what had happened in her past.
Once I showed her how to be more present she was able to recognize the difference between being present and being in her head dwelling on the past. That empowered her with the choice to either stay in the peace of the present moment or step into the pain of her past stories. She chose peace and I urge you to do the same. It also stopped her being a victim to a past she couldn’t change.
The Peaceful Presence of the Present
When you leave the moment to start thinking about the past or future, you almost immediately begin to feel whatever you are thinking about. If for example you are thinking about a sad past event then that is how you will feel. Or if you are dwelling on a time when you felt hurt, again, that is how you will end up feeling.
However, if you give your undivided attention to the here and now, you immediately stop “feeling your thinking” and naturally experience more peace. Not because you are trying to feel peace, but because you are no longer doing anything that prevents you from experiencing the inner presence of peace, which is your most natural way of being.
Past memories are not the cause of negative emotions, but thinking about them is.
Incidentally, this means that other people are not the cause of your negative emotions, either. Over the years I’ve observed a collectively held belief within the global population: “How I feel is their fault.” Meaning: what someone else said or didn’t say, or what they did or didn’t do, are the cause of my lack of inner peace. This is the not the case.
Your emotions are due to something that is going on within you, and not outside of you. A button has been pressed inside you. You are feeling what you are feeling because you are currently feeling your thinking. No button, no emotional reaction.
Now I appreciate if, for example, someone is in your face, then you may well feel something “negative” in these moments. I’m referring here to the rest of the time, when the moment has passed, but you are still feeling bad. If we eliminated the hurt, sadness, anger etc. brought on by thinking about the past or future, then we would experience a life-changing amount of peace during daily life.
Taking on board and applying this liberating possibility, we stop projecting impure perceptions of reality out onto others. We stop suffering unnecessarily due to the false belief that “I feel X because of them”, and we can protect our peace by thinking less and living more in the now.
Stay In the Room
Mind Detox is a method for getting peace with past “stuff ”. Using it, you will purify unresolved past events, which in turn can help your body to heal and improve your life from now on. The reason for raising the importance of being present here is because remembering that no past memories are happening in the reality of now makes the method much easier and more comfortable.
The present moment is a safe place to hang out and “do the work” because whatever you are remembering isn’t happening now. If you were actually with me, in a room at one of my retreats, for example, it would be very obvious that the person or event you are working on isn’t happening here. In my room there is usually a comfortable seat, fresh drinking water, some plants, pictures on the walls, a window with a pleasant view and me smiling back at you, championing you to let go and be free from whatever has been a problem. In my room you aren’t being left by anyone, hurt by anyone or, in the more sensitive cases, you are certainly not being abused by anyone. Stay in the room as you use Mind Detox.
By remembering that all you are ultimately doing is giving your imagination a spring-clean, by finding more positive ways of remembering the past, then the memories won’t feel so real, daunting or personal. There is nothing to fear when working with the past because nothing you will be working on is ever happening now. The present moment is a supremely safe space to be. Even if a problematic past memory appears to be real, I promise you that it isn’t. When doing Mind Detox, answering one of the questions is what is happening now. Everything else is nothing more than your imagination; similar to Jaws in my childhood wardrobe.
©2013, 2019 by Sandy C. Newbigging.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Findhorn Press, an imprint of Inner Traditions Intl.
All Rights Reserved. www.findhornpress.com.
Article Source
Mind Detox: Discover and Resolve the Root Causes of Chronic Conditions and Persistent Problems
(2nd Edition, Revised Edition of Heal the Hidden Cause)
by Sandy C. Newbigging.
Providing a powerful way to let go of emotional baggage, release toxic beliefs, and clear the mental blocks to your goals, this 5-step guide empowers you to rewrite your past, find resolution for negative experiences, and use your newly cleansed mind to achieve brilliant success in all areas of life, along with happiness, wealth, and well-being.
Click here for more Info and/or to Order this book. Also available in eTextbook format.
About the Author
Sandy C. Newbigging is the creator of the Mind Detox and Mind Calm methods, a meditation teacher and author of several books, including Life-Changing Weight Loss, Life Detox, New Beginnings, Peace for Life, and Thunk! Recently commended by the Federation of Holistic Therapists as ‘Tutor of the Year’, he runs residential retreats internationally and trains Practitioners via his Academy. His work has been seen on television worldwide. Visit his website at http://www.sandynewbigging.com/
Watch a video with Sandy: The Silent Solution to Any Problem
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Another video with Sandy: Hidden Causes of a Busy Mind
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Books by this Author
at InnerSelf Market and Amazon
